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Musicians Humour

Ian Loft (3442)

Open Guitar Forum · 12/21/2001 9:19 PM
After such a total lack of response from my last feeble effort, I thought I would try again for a few laughs:

AMUSING QUOTES FROM MUSICIANS AND OTHER FAMOUS PEOPLE:

"I write as a sow piddles."
MOZART

"My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a producer."
COLE PORTER

"The amount of money one needs is terrifying..."
BEETHOVEN

"Only become a musician if there is absolutely no other way you can make a living."
KIRKE MECHAM on his life as a composer, rumoured also to have been said by MARILYN HORNE

"Chaos is a friend of mine."
BOB DYLAN

"Of course I'm ambitious. What's wrong with that? Otherwise you sleep all day."
RINGO STARR

"Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats."
VICTOR BORGE, playing to a half-filled house

"God tells me how the music should sound, but you stand in the way."
TOSCANINI berating a trumpet player

"I really don't know whether any place contains more pianists than Paris, or whether you can find more asses and virtuosos anywhere."
CHOPIN

"When she started to play, Steinway himself came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano."
BOB HOPE on comedienne Phyllis Diller

"Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them."
RICHARD STRAUSS

"Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings."
ROBERT BENCHLEY

"A ponderous orchestral absurdity."
FRANK ZAPPA on his rock symphony, which debuted with the Los Angeles Philharmonic
Responses  [ Pages: 1 · 2 ]
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Re: Musicians Humour

12/21/2001 9:30 PM

Roger Davies (770) wrote:

Bob Hope got the money for mine



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Re: Musicians Humour

12/21/2001 9:36 PM

Ian Loft (3442) wrote:

Yes - but he always was a cranky old bugga!



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Re: Musicians Humour

12/21/2001 9:46 PM

Roger Davies (770) wrote:

Is it true they were thinking of using his nose for the ski jump in the winter olympics?



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Re: Musicians Humour

12/21/2001 10:22 PM

Ian Loft (3442) wrote:

No idea!

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Re: Musicians Humour

12/22/2001 10:43 AM

Chris Pinto (24466) wrote:

Toscanini got my vote as one of the funnier ones. The Bob Hope one was good too. :)

Chris



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Re: Musicians Humour

12/22/2001 11:59 AM

Maciek Sakrejda (8047) wrote:

Man, that Toscanini one was harsh. Can you imagine a leader saying that to you?

-m



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Re: Musicians Humour

12/23/2001 6:39 AM

Ian Loft (3442) wrote:

He must have been having a really bad day!

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Re: Musicians Humour

12/22/2001 6:50 PM

Susan Windle (5824) wrote:

Ian,
l liked the bob hope one but l dont think he let it out to be a ski slope just because his nose turned up slightly,mine does,but only very slightly.
susan(sue)



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Re: Musicians Humour

7/30/2012 5:32 PM

Alfred Scoggins (5193) wrote:

Man at a dance goes up to the bandleader. 'Do you do requests?'. 'Sure,' says the bandleader, 'what would you like?'. 'Oh, anything'.

(That's a very old one).

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Re: Musicians Humour

7/31/2012 9:02 AM

Edd Robins (6260) wrote:

When I was a boy I told my mama I wanted to be a musician when I grew up. Mama said, "Baby, you can't do both"



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Re: Musicians Humour

8/1/2012 9:58 AM

Ken Richardson (9051) wrote:

Thats a good one !!



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Re: Musicians Humour

8/2/2012 3:44 PM

Chris Pinto (24466) wrote:

LOL! Never heard that one before... HAHA



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Re: Musicians Humour

8/3/2012 12:27 AM

Adrian Dupree (4969) wrote:

Growing up is overrated. =D





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Re: Musicians Humour

8/3/2012 5:53 AM

Warren Hunt (5730) wrote:

Way over rated. Walking, sitting, standing, sex and general movement starts to hurt. In the end somethings just aren't worth it.





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Re: Musicians Humour

8/3/2012 4:20 PM

Chris Pinto (24466) wrote:

1st old guy:
"When I was your age, I walked 5 miles to school, uphill, both-ways, knee-deep in snow, in my bare feet!"

2nd old guy:
"FEET? YOU HAD FEET?"


LOL!!!

Chris





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Re: Musicians Humour

8/3/2012 10:25 PM

Adrian Dupree (4969) wrote:

Where is the "like" button when i need it??





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Re: Musicians Humour

8/4/2012 3:58 AM

Warren Hunt (5730) wrote:

Like it.



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Re: Musicians Humour

8/4/2012 12:18 AM

Randy Hano (12149) wrote:

Nice!

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